poetsthought's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Personal Statement version of \"Adopting the Memories\"

Nov. 20th, 2003

        By dictionary definition, adoption of a child means, �to take into one�s family through legal means and raise as one�s own child.� But to someone who was adopted, it means so much more. A child growing up with the knowledge of having been adopted may react in two ways: either embrace the title of adoptee, or reject the title on the grounds of desertion. Psychologically, an adopted child will either flourish in their adopted environment, or they will crumble. The knowledge of being adopted can either make or break a child, or sometimes both.
        At the age of five-months, I was adopted by a family in the U.S. from my birthplace of Calcutta, India. Growing up with the knowledge of being adopted, I have both embraced and rejected the title. In the fourth grade, I was going through my family�s filing cabinet of important papers and I came across my adoption papers. Seeing the actually proof that I would never know whom my biological parents were, a part of me died. My father comforted my tears and explained that at the time of my birth in India, female babies were not wanted, and that I was put up for adoption because I was a girl; purely because of my gender. He emphasized that I was adopted by a family who wanted a girl, but even then, in the eyes of my eight-year-old self, I came to the apparent realization that I could never even dream of knowing my birth parents.
        In late-elementary years, voicing my disgust at being adopted was always admonished by gratefulness. Even though I felt slightly disconnected from my family at times, I could never put into words how lucky I knew I was for being adopted. Throughout my childhood, I was greatly teased by my older siblings on the subject of my ethnicity. As with teasing, I was found to be at fault, while the teasing always continued. This reaction pushed me to want to be a part of a more open family because family love was not what I felt. Gradually, I came to depend on school as my open ocean.
        Swimming through school, I grew up in minimum diversity; I was just another student. I shed my need to explain my adoption as I embraced my student life. I concentrated on my schoolwork, sports, and clubs such as NHS, Key Club, and Peer Mediation. I pushed to be known my others, but in my quiet, respectful way, and being adopted faded to just another fact as common as my age and birthday.
        Slowly, I came to realize that despite my popularity in school, I was unhappy. In my junior year of high school, I realized that I was slowly sliding into depression. Seeing rock bottom, I reached out to the staff at school and let my troubles flow. Stemming from my childhood insecurities, I searched to feel happiness again. With the help of my counselors, I realized that I had come to doubt myself and others and that I was quick to doubt people. With this realization, I found strength to do what made me happy and finally was able to embrace my ethnicity and the title of adoptee.
        Adopting a child, one never thinks of the consequences of this action. For me, it took sixteen years of ignoring my adoption to realize the importance of it. The title of adoptee made me an individual who had the great fortune of being raised in the United States of America. I embrace my ethnicity and shine with the knowledge of leading a better life. Though I started life alone because my birth took place anonymously, I have come to realize the strength I hold inside. Knowing that I was once unwanted, I have made a place for myself in school by being warm and open and respectful of others. In my most important role yet as the Senior Class President, I find strength in myself and know that the decision to put me up for adoption has made me the person I am today.

that was the shortened version of my "adopting the memories" essay... look @ the older entries for the full essay. this version was used as the personal statement I sent off to colleges... well the 3 I applied to.

10:00 AM - 05.22.04 Saturday

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next