poetsthought's Diaryland Diary

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poem \"...twisted & turned...\"

...twisted & turned... --05.10.03 Saturday--
what happens when all that I write;
all that I know;
all that I try to share and show;
no longer seems enough?
what can I do, to show them me?
what must I do to be free of thee?
when I feel free, something is always wrong;
when I feel wrong, all seems free.
why must all be so very twisted;
so very messed up and turned around;
why must I feel so very twisted and turned?
why can't I be free, to be me;
to be loved and show love;
to help all and get help from all,
why can't I help me?
when all say I deserve the best,
why must I face these damned things of life's tests,
and feel so very far from the rest?
will I always be full of doubt and loneliness;
always be full of hatred and fearfulness;
full of feelings so bottled up inside?
why must I always hide?
I wish I could have it all out in the open;
but then no one would ever want me,
because they'd see this side of me;
they'd see this dark, black side I have inside.
so very twisted and turned;
when will I be free of these demons,
haunting me, reminding me, never letting me forget;
always pushing and prodding;
never ever stopping.
twisted and turned;
all that for which I yearn,
do I truly deserve?
will I be deserving of life...
or will I end it with a knife?
so very twisted and turned;
so very lonely and burned.
will anyone want to know all that I am,
all that's so very twisted and turned?

3:30 PM - 11.02.03 Sunday

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